Dear Frustrating Computer Company,
A few things have come to my attention these last few days, and I was wondering if you might humor me with answers to a few questions. First, if our laptop is dead, how do you expect us to utilize online help? Second, the next time we call, do you plan to try and keep us on hold so long that we will just eventually give up? I'm telling you now, that plan won't work. We spent too much money on this laptop to have it turn into a paperweight after less than a year. We will get this thing repaired, and you will do it while it's still under warrenty. All you're doing right now is making us vow to never buy a computer from you again. Please, save us all some time and energy, and just make good on your warrenty without a lot of hassle. Is that too much to ask?