I'm experiencing Halloween from a whole new perspective this year. It's been just over a month since my daughter was diagnosed with Type I Diabetes. We've learned so much in this month... in fact, I'm at a point right now where I've had to take a break from reading and learning any more about the disease, because I feel like my brain just can't absorb any more medical data right now. (Those of you who know me know that's how I cope with things- I set out to learn everything I can about it!)
One thing has really been hitting me in this last week... so many holiday celebrations focus on the food, and for kids, this usually means candy. We skipped my daughter's school festival tonight, because the main focus there is a giant trick-or-treat hallway with tons of candy. We've been hard-pressed to find any fun children's Halloween activities that don't focus on the candy. It's not that my daughter can't eat any candy, but she has to have it in moderation and rationed out at certain times of day in balance with her insulin injections.
Of course everyone should be eating candy in moderation... but it's just another reminder of what this disease changes for my daughter. She's FIVE. She won't be able to come home and spread out her trick or treating haul, happily munching on her favorites... instead she'll have to wait for us to calculate the carbs in each piece of candy, then choose one or maybe two treats to eat that night. I have to go with her to friend's birthday parties, watch every bite she eats, and then sneak into the bathroom for a quick injection before she can play with her friends. And it breaks my heart that my five year-old goes through the grocery store picking up things and asking me if they have too many carbs. (Not to mention the stares from strangers who no doubt think I have my tall and thin daughter on some sort of crazy diet.)
I know in my heart that I should be grateful that it's treatable... that these inconveniences are nothing compared to what some people face... but still, tonight I'm just in that place where I'm really hating this disease and the simple little pleasures it takes away from my daughter.